blogging to the beyond

Ever since her boyfriend was killed, Alex writes to him every week.
She told him about the difficulties, experiences, desires and countless events in her daily life.
Basically she tried to keep him awaketo-date.
\"I don\'t believe he will read it,\" she admitted . \".
\"But I can tell him everything even if he is not here.
\"Many times she called him in the first person-as she used to do before the war.
There is only information in her letter that he can understand;
Private jokes and references for sharing experiences.
At the end of each letter, she announced her love for a lover who is no longer alive. Sergeant-Major (res. )
Ivar Benin has been with Alex schferowitz for four years.
A year ago, the future was bright.
The couple plan to travel to China and then they will live together in Jerusalem where Eyal will study at the Hebrew University.
Now all that\'s left is a virtual diary and painful memories.
On the morning of Wednesday, July 12, 2006, Alex wrote at home to ayalong, 22-year-old Ayal, an IDF soldier on the Fifth Brigade, who was killed in a Hezbollah attack on the northern border.
Two other soldiers were captured in the same attack, which became a catalyst for Alex\'s outbreak and they would never forget that morning.
\"His mother called and said that the North was in a mess and asked if I had heard from him,\" she recalled . \".
\"I called him, but no one answered.
\"At 4: 00 in the afternoon, my mobile phone rang and a foreign number appeared on the screen.
The mother of a friend is in line.
\"Love is hit,\" she said in a broken voice . \".
What do you mean by \"hit?
Is he in the hospital? ’ I asked.
\"No,\" she replied, \"eyal has been killed.
They started to meet at a high school in belsheba.
Eyal and Alex are in parallel classes, through visual awareness.
After his parents divorced, ewal moved to Tel Aviv, but on his trip to Poland he saw Alex again.
\"We got together on the journey and became friends,\" Alex recalls . \".
\"We will meet from time to time and we will talk on the phone.
I had a boyfriend at that time and Eyal had these stormy, dramatic love that he would consult and share with me.
When Alex was 18, her mother died of cancer after six months in a coma.
Alex\'s personal tragedy brought her closer to Eyal, who joined the IDF Nahal forces at that time.
The two became a couple.
\"As far as we are concerned, it feels right,\" Alex observed . \".
\"We said, \'let\'s try it.
The experiment was successful.
Eyal\'s family was very nervous during their service.
\"He is the only child and his parents have signed a permit to allow him to serve in the battle,\" Alex said . \".
\"There is anxiety in the air and everyone is on guard.
\"After all, the army is dangerous.
You\'re not playing with Lego, you can even die.
He and his friends will laugh about it. they are not afraid.
He was even more afraid during the reserve.
Maybe it was because he suddenly realized what he had lost.
The two are getting closer and closer.
After visiting many of his relatives and friends, Eyal will be on holiday with Alex.
His audience called themselves \"band 18 \";
They all grew up together in Omer and later served together in the combat forces.
Alex and Eyal travel in Jerusalem.
Known as \"chief of staff\" in September 16, 2004 \";
Alex explained why.
\"He is very confident, convincing and confident. assured.
Even if he doesn\'t know what he\'s talking about at all, he can answer any questions.
You end up saying, \"Okay.
This person seems right.
\"In addition, he is very engaged and he has invested a lot in his friends.
Everything about them interests him: every personal story, even the smallest detail.
He will pay attention, ask questions and be interested.
\"There was no separation in November 2004 and Eyal was demobilized and moved to belsheba, where the couple rented an apartment in Area D.
Nine months later, Eyal backpacked with his friends in India, Thailand and New Zealand, and Eyal broke up with Alex.
\"We say things may change and we have no reason to wait for each other,\" she reported . \".
\"But, in fact, this is not a farewell.
We will always talk on the phone and write letters to each other.
\"After six months abroad, Eyal came back earlier than planned due to his grandfather\'s illness.
The couple got together again soon.
\"It\'s strange, mainly because it\'s the same, as if it hadn\'t been in the past six months.
We were all surprised that we could return to our lives so easily.
Eyal and some friends moved into a rented Beersheba apartment close to the one Alex shared with her roommate.
He found a job in a bookstore and was admitted to the Hebrew University of Jerusalem Law School.
Meanwhile, Alex received a degree in biology and agreed to move to the capital with Eyal.
\"He will make me laugh,\" Alex recalled sadly . \".
\"That\'s what I need a partner to give me and he will make me laugh and laugh at my jokes.
I really like his passion for things, his passion for things and never-End passion
I am completely opposite.
\"He likes people very much and is fascinated by the people around him.
He also likes to read books. buying books is a real enjoyment for him.
She went on to add, \"Eyal is the most chaotic person I know.
\"On her birthday, he used to write a list of comics that set out the rules for dealing with a hopeless lazy man like him.
Alex tried not to cry because she read, \"he\'s a good-
There are 21 years of chaotic oiler.
So patience is the key.
Death is a topic often discussed.
Eyal joked that he did not think his father would cry at the funeral.
\"You must know your father did cry,\" Alex wrote in his blog a month after his death . \".
\"Contrary to what you think.
At the funeral, Eyal told Alex, \"We will not be buried in belsheba in any case.
He likes to be buried in Green.
During his service, he assured Alex that he was bulletproof.
Two months after his death, he first appeared in Alex\'s dream.
\"In the dream, you just come back,\" she wrote in her blog . \".
\"That\'s it.
You show up at the door, or you pop up at a social party.
\"You look as usual, as if nothing had happened.
Everyone is here. you are a little late.
Everyone was surprised. They asked, \"How is this possible ? \"?
We attended the funeral;
They buried you.
But you don\'t answer.
You just shrugged.
Alex admits that she often relives her fears when she hears the news.
\"It was such a huge shock that I thought I couldn\'t get up in the morning that I could never get over it.
\"How can things like this happen and then people continue to live?
How does one cope?
But my life has not stopped.
I went back to work;
I finished the exam.
Today, my life is not unbearable. it’s just sad.
\"How will I find someone like Eyal?
Alex has been looking for a new apartment recently.
She decided that she would not want a roommate anymore and would prefer to live alone.
\"All of a sudden, during the search, I stopped and looked at my life.
\"I said to myself, \'What happened here?
This should not happen.
I was planning my life in another place with a man I loved so much, and all of a sudden, I was alone.
I lost the person I loved and my life was ruined.
In one of her blog posts, Alex revealed that she met another man, but he backed down.
\"I know that life is like this. I will have someone.
But I asked myself what I was looking for in a man and Eyal was everything I wanted.
How do I find someone like him?
Alex, who was shocked by Eyal\'s death, consulted a psychologist who noted that Alex had not yet received news of her mother\'s death from cancer.
\"She claimed that I did not deal with it as I should.
\"Maybe she\'s right,\" admitted Alex . \"
She used her mother as an example.
\"Mom is a warrior and has nothing to do with disease.
She came to the country from Ukraine with her dad and they worked very hard to make money.
\"She has never complained, and she always believes that everything will be fine in the end and everything will be resolved in the best way possible.
On the other hand, I am always serious. it may be that my mother\'s illness has matured me.
Despite the double tragedy of fate, Alex felt there was no need to look for a scapegoat.
\"I live a Standard Life and I don\'t hide the terrible facts.
But sometimes it\'s hard for me.
\"My life changed in an instant.
In the case of mom, even though I was optimistic and I\'m sure she would recover, she was ill for a long time and was in a coma for half a year.
So, this is a process.
And Eyal did not happen suddenly.
All of a sudden, I have nothing in a second.
Thousands of people visit Alex\'s blog.
The reader left a sympathetic comment saying they shared her pain.
Some even suggested that she compile the letter into a book.
\"There\'s something very supportive about people\'s \'Feedback (comments)
Said Alex gratefully.
\"The support was very encouraging and relieved the pain.
\"She rarely blogs these days.
\"At the beginning, there was a flood of emotions. I wanted to write and vent from the heart.
Today, I really have nothing to say, and the things I write will not be new.
\"What should I write?
Is this hard for me?
I\'m not the kind of person who will cry and complain.
It\'s not my nature.
\"Alex can\'t believe it\'s been a whole year since her world collapsed.
\"It\'s been too fast this year.
So much time has passed and it has not sunk yet.
I never thought I would be like this in a year.
\"I am surrounded by people who love me.
I\'m healthy, but different.
I think I will overcome it and I will recover. But I haven’t.