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my big, fat surprise wedding

by:Kenwei      2019-09-10
Ninety-
I got married seven days ago. Ninety-
Eight days ago, nine people on Earth knew I was getting married: me, my husband --to-
Two childhood friends, two college roommates, a corporate HR representative, a hippie jewelry designer, and, unfortunately, a Geico agent (don\'t ask).
If you are counting, it will only make it unknown to about 7 billion people on Earth, including: my parents, right awayfuture in-
Laws, 99% friend and my boss, who clenched her teeth and wished me a lovely key four days in a huge project.
No, I\'m not pregnant. My now-
The spouse and I talked extensively about the true definition of the word \"Elopement\" six months before our very planned surprise wedding.
It usually reminds people of the image that was hit. Bride driving
Through the Vegas church or both.
All we had was an unremarkable night when we decided we were still married.
We decided to have a surprise wedding because it was our style.
We\'re not at the wedding.
We don\'t like traditional things.
Now, we prefer money to money.
We think we have more important things. read: fun)
The Wedding Plan took up half a year of our lives.
Really, the real reason we don\'t want us to get married-the whole head-over-heels, can\'t-live-without-my-partner-in-crime thing --
Buried in a stack of Taft towers, bird species and huge bow of chairs.
Therefore, we have appointed a friend on the Internet and selected several sworn associates to fly to the court.
We walked on a set of metal detectors. -
It\'s basically an arch, right? --
Got the marriage certificate and went out to sign it at one time.
The minute \"ceremony\", then we re-
Go back to the entrance through the metal detector and open it.
Then we were clean.
We recorded the \"ceremony\" and put the key 30-second lens into a cheesy photo slide set to \"Hotel Yorba\"(
Full disclosure: may have had a few vino drinks before the final step. )
My mother did not threaten to kill me. Through her (happy)
When there was no doubt of silence about what was going on, four words appeared in the nose, tears and panting, very clear: Kate. You. Little. Shit.
Then we sent the video to the world.
Then we had a cheesy party.
We have invited friends to a \"big, fat, cheesy, fake wedding party\" at the local community center and instructed them to wear old bridesmaid dresses and sick clothes
Put on a suit and get ready to make some cheap champagnefueled YMCA-ing.
It\'s not a shock to our crowd, they are used to our annual cheesy Christmas party (
The theme of this year is the birth of Jesus.
Our holiday costumes
For example, American flag pants and patriotic Zubaz we wear for various festivals)
And the general silly antics (
It\'s like changing Batman and poison ivy costumes halfway through Halloween. -
Fisherman\'s leg = kes).
This is not fake.
The bride wore it early. 90\'s, long-
Sleeves, layered lace dresses on EBay with other people\'s makeup on them.
The groom put on an embroidered Mexican palace suit in good faith.
Guests break in and scream and cheer for our sneaky wedding, louder than the fact that they can still compress for ten years --
Old bridesmaid dress
They lived and drank Miller\'s fine life and Cook\'s champagne (
If you want to call it that way)
Directly from their individuals-
The size of the bottle, gnawing on a piece of cake wreck at Sam\'s Club, dug into the cheese ball bucket.
Done twice during our impromptu toast and cake cutting/face smashing
A friend gave high-foot \"bride\" and \"groom\" glasses and I heard someone whisper to someone next to her, \"Are they really married ? \"?
I\'m so confused!
\"Feedback on the whole thing is first class.
I want to say that I should do the same when I get married.
Of course I will, but my mom will kill me.
I hope I can calm down. (Ha. )
It is shocking that no one complains. No one bitched.
No one cried and said they would never go down with their only daughter
A little stain on the satin for rent.
Family and friends pay tribute to our commitment to marriage, not to the wedding.
The disclosure video we set up on YouTube as a private video gets 1,200 horrible views and counts (
Who else is watching this next to my mom? ! ).
Friends show them to their boyfriends and girlfriends.
Colleagues show their spouses
Parents show their children
Some as examples of what to do, some as examples of what not to do).
When the celebration was over and our house became our own house again, my new husband and I were trying to recover.
\"I have multiple bruises,\" I moaned from the shower. He sighed.
\"I think it\'s a sign of a good wedding.
\"We were lying on the couch, dragging the boxes of Miller\'s high school life, exhausted from college with four people and feeling pain
Sleep parties and emotional spending for a day, to say the least.
He called my wife. I turned my eyes.
We checked the ring.
We regret laughing at those who left for Jamaica to buy sandals the morning after the wedding.
We talked about who liked our wedding and who thought our wedding had no grade.
Then we discussed what to do for dinner.
When we got home on the first day of our new job
We found a huge box at our door.
What really annoys us is that my parents told me that they refused our strict requirements. gift policy.
The huge size of the box scared us first.
Then we noticed the return address: Kmart. Half-
We tried to close the door and pray that the thief came in at night, but we opened the door and found no one else. . . six toasters.
The roughest toaster you \'ve ever seen
The bag shrinks together.
\"What are we going to do with six toasters?
We asked my dad.
\"That\'s right,\" he said.
I think we had a real wedding after all.
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